Lips Like Morphine
by MisleadingTemptations
Summary: REWRITTEN; This story ended up being too much like a bad break up I had, so I'm re-writing it all. Matt had his addictions, but what happens when he finds a new one he would never like to live without again. What will the consequences be when he has to?
1. Wet Dreams and Stingy Motel Rooms

**Authors Note: So this story was previously just on a whim. I was in a complicated relationship at the time that ended badly. As I continued to write this story, a close friend of mine pointed out that I had been subconsciously writing the story pretty much to match my failed relationship. So here I am, months later. And I'm rewriting the entire thing. I'm going to try to use the same basic outline, but I've got better ideas, and a better sense of my characters. Please enjoy and review !**

**P.S, I don't own any of this. ANY of it.  
**  


* * *

  
A helpless, muffled cry echoed around a small, stingy room located on the rotten side of town right before the downtown turnpike of Tokyo. The carpet was a moldy looking red, with a patch of something _not_ red very visible by the entrance. The old (once white, now yellow) floral wallpaper half peeled off, with off colored stains present all over. There was a brown vanity placed against the far wall with a large oval mirror facing the entrance. Diagonal from that, against another stressed out yellow wall was a small dresser with the tiniest television placed on top of it. Who knew if it even worked, with the scrawny little rabbit ears that were present on top, wires sticking out in various places, it probably couldn't get a signal from the next room over.

A tiny hallway branching off from the main room, included a shelf with a framed picture of the bible on it, a light switch, and a rusty bar that looked like it was supposed to be used to hang towels on (though this particular one looked like it might break if you touched it, or possibly spread hepatitis) The finishing touch was a single doorway leading off to a small bathroom. This hallway was the only thing to split the sleeping area from the room that was s_upposed_ to be a kitchen. A small rusty sink which only emitted water the temperature of ice cubes, and a not very trusty shelf with a microwave oven that many occupants wouldn't trust with their lives. There was a king size bed placed in the middle of this whole getup, squeaking rhythmically with two naked animals on it.  
No, not quite animals, but yes, very close. Two bodies were tangled together in a mess of sweat and low groans. One of them was pinned under the other, both buck naked, skin glazed with a shiny coat of sweat, hair matted to both slacked faces as they touched each other. It was quite beautiful, the two of them. They clashed so harshly; startling red, against a blond so naturally golden it took your breath away.

They were both small pale figures- naturally fit. The boy with red hair was shorter than the other male. The blond angel had long arms wrapped around the smaller boy, his face was filled with pure joy as he rocked against his partner and was rewarded with another dragged out low groan. Panting filled the room as blond hair fell in front of a now concentrated face, and slowly, with much effort, harsh smokey gray eyes fluttered open to gaze into clouded green ones beneath him, one bit his lip, trying desperately not to let out the primal sounds building within himself, that were so desperately begging to be let out. The same sounds that were coming from the luscious body underneath his own.

Those large, startling eyes were clouded with pleasure, lust. Then as quick as they had widened, they were lost behind dark eyelids once more and smooth apricot lips parted, emitting a strangled noise that sounded like a mixture between a whimper and a moan. The smaller forms slender back curved upwards in an arch leaving a pale, strong arm to wrap around his back, taking the opportunity to hold his lover closer against his beating chest.

The body on top leaned down, capturing his chance to feed at the red heads soft parted lips, colliding their mouths together in unison as he thrust his hips once more down onto his helpless lover with a shared shutter of pleasure. Their bodies met and a startling cry came from the top of the pile as nails were dragged straight down his back, another shock wave of pain mixed with pleasure beyond belief rocked both boys bodies, and minds, as they cried out each others names, and the pile of limbs collapsed onto the bed coming harder than either had during sex any time previous in his life.  
"Holy fuck Matt!"

"Nn, Jesus Christ Mello! Ahh!"  
And it was pure bliss. As the boys laid there panting, in the proof of their sins, Mello felt an aching in his chest.  
.

A pair of harsh gray eyes shot open accompanied by a quick gasp. It took a few slow moments for the golden haired male to really register what was happening. He was currently laying nude in bed, wrapped and twisted in the single sheet that covered his modesty as he slept. Heart beat racing behind his rib cage a slender white hand came up to grasp at the flesh over the throbbing area.  
Mihael Keel's body was covered in cold beads of sweat and as he sat up he came to realize he was rather sexually excited from the very detailed dream he had experienced. He thought back to his dream, but all that really did for him was bring back blurs of red moving beneath him, and a distant sound of pleasant groaning to his mind, making something low in his body tighten. He could practically remember every sound, and every gasp coming out of Matt's beautiful soft lips, opening and closing against his body. That whiny yet soothing, needy voice. Begging, panting Mello's name. Mello's heart was beating again, and his excitement hadn't going away.

He shook his head, a loud frustrated sigh slipping past his lips as he slumped back, closing his eyes momentarily, and running his hands over his face. His hands found their way up through his tangled blonde locks of hair. These dreams ... Had to stop.  
Matt and Mello had been together for a very long time.. since Wammy's house.  
And now, well, now Mello was in a stingy motel, located in a shady area of town, where he could keep his cover as a mafia member hunting down Kira.  
Matt was also a part of the mafia. With the brains that boy had he could be doing something much more useful, but all this time he had stuck by his best friend.

* * *

**Wammy's ; Thirteen years earlier**.

Mello looked up from his chess game as he noticed a figure standing in the doorway to his semi-permanent home (At least until he turned seventeen). Mello was living at Wammy's House ; An orphanage for small kids. Although if you were to ask the blonde boy, he would much rather be living on the streets alone again than stuck in this god awful prison. The boy standing in his doorway had red hair,and was a few inches shorter than Mello. His clothes were dirty and he wore orange tinted goggles over his eyes. He glanced around his room. It had bright white walls, that if you looked at long enough didn't look white at all. There were two single beds, one against a wall, the other against the opposite wall. There was a few shelves with random knick-knacks on them, and a medium sized closet in the wall. A trunk was placed at the foot of each bed, a matching night stand at the head of each as well. Mello knew very well that the majority of the kids at Wammy's house had a roommate, but he had had this room all to himself for nearly three months.

He also somehow knew for a fact that this strange boy had come along to ruin that. Mello huffed quietly and altogether ignored the boy, going back to his game of chess for one. The strange red head didn't say anything, he just stood there in the doorway and watched Mello for a minute, Mello found it slightly unnerving and thought it was kind of creepy until he stopped what he was doing and looked up at the boy. The other boy clearly didn't know what to say, or do considering the fact that he just looked back at Mello and blushed, his mouth opening, and closing a few times, but nothing came out.

Mello wasn't sure what it was, but this boy just looked so lonely, and helpless at that moment. Mello quickly shut his mouth, trying to regain his stoic composure as he opened his mouth again, "Why are you blushing?" he questioned, the noise startling the both of them after such a long silence. The strange boy sputtered, his cheeks turning darker, he looked around him as if the answer was written on the blank white walls. "Oh, well … I'm your new roommate." he said quickly trying to laugh it off as he looked down to his feet, subconsciously kicking the ground nervously.

Mello sighed, letting his shoulders slump a little as he really looked at the boy. He had medium length messy red hair. Like ... red, red hair. It was ... unusual in London_._ Of course there was the first thing Mello had noticed ; the orange tinted goggles over his eyes. He wore a shirt that was plainly too large for him, and baggy jeans that looked three sizes too big, that happened to be covered in dirt. He stood there with a duffel bag in his hand. It was filled maybe halfway with things. Mello's eyes moved back up the boys gait, to his face, which had reverted to it's original color. Mello sighed loudly with a nod, "Don't touch any of my stuff..", he spoke rather bored and went back to his game.

Mello looked up after another well played move against himself. His new roommate had stopped beside his nightstand and was currently just standing there with a small smile playing across his dimpled face. Mello looked around awkwardly for a second, slightly confused before looking back at the boy, with a murmured "What?" and the red head laughed slightly, sliding his goggles down so they were around his neck. He leaned forward, arms on his hips with a much bigger smile showing rather white teeth for such a filthy boy, his head slightly tilted.

"Hi! My name is Mail Jeevas. But everyone calls me Matt. In fact I prefer it. I think Mail is sort of a weird name." Mello was surprised. The boy had seemed so shy before, and now he seemed … peppy almost_. _Mello sputtered slightly, realizing this was an introduction, he leaned back against his bed, nodding his head at the boy, "Mail hm? Mine's Mihael. Call me Mello." Matt's smile didn't faze. Matt walked over to his new bed and dropped his duffel bag down to dig in it. Mello figured he was going to change out of those filthy clothes, but instead, the strange boy pulled out something Mello had heard about on the internet. A Game Boy Color.

He continued to pull out games and other things for the hand held, and Mello watched the bulge indicating the bag's innards starting to rapidly shrink, and began to wonder if this boy owned any clothes at all. Mello cleared his throat loudly and the red head paused to look up at him, "Do ... you want to watch me play?", he asked with an eager smile. Mello looked down at his personal game of chess, where he had once again beaten himself. Matt's smile widened as Mello got up off the bed and shuffled towards it's twin, where the red head lay.

Mello hesitantly took his place beside Matt on the squeaky bed,leaning against the wall, watching the boy turn the game on as he crossed his legs trying to get comfortable. Matt pulled his goggles over his eyes again as a concentrated smile spread across his dirty face and Mello watched as he began a level on a game called Mario, watching the pixelated character jump on little mushroom men, and hop down tubes.

They sat like this for a while, and Mello rotated his attention from this intriguing game, to the curious red head beside him. The talented boy conquered each level, hopping up a flag pole to advance to the next. He pulled his goggles down around his neck smiling a huge grin as he looked over at Mello still a little euphoric over finally beating the game, "Wow, did you see that? It was amazing I totally kicked his ass! You must be like a lucky charm or something, I could never beat it before this!" Mello's wide eyes softened slightly as he shook his head, watching this boy throw his hands in the air, blabbing about victory and good luck charms. He looked up as the red head continued to talk to himself and caught Wammy walking by the open door, sending Mello a secretive, mischievous wink. And all the boy could do was smile in return.  
_**  


* * *

**_

That's how it had started. The day the two boys had met. Nine years old at the time, and now, thirteen years later. Under strange circumstances they had found each other, and stuck together for such a long time. It had been those eyes.  
Mello sighed slightly as he remembered that day. That was the day Mihael Keel had fallen in love with Mail Jeevas; It didn't start out strong, but it was a love none the less. Mello didn't know he was in love with the boy, and Matt was too naive to know what love was. They grew closer, if not much they were still what one would call friends. It may have even been brotherly at first, but it just grew from there. Was it love at first sight? No ... Mello had thought Matt was just another weird (but smart), dirty boy Wammy had pulled off the streets standing in his doorway at first. It had definitely been his eyes. And the countless adventures they had had together. And the countless times Mello had saved Matt's ass. And the countless times they've been there for each other, and known how the other was feeling. Somewhere along the line Matt had been able to return those feelings as well. But neither knew that soon, those feelings would be brought closer to the surface than ever before.

Mello's heart almost beat right out of his chest when he heard a very obnoxious bang on his wall, coming from the other side. He sat bolt upright scanning the room for his guns out of habit, as he held hist chest, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat. He had been so deep in thought, he had almost forgotten the red head himself was in the next room. A hoarse groan was heard after the knocks, and Mello couldn't help but sigh softly.

"Matt? Are you okay?" There was no response.  
Mello reached over and grabbed a pair of long black sweat pants, and pulled them over his lanky hips and stood up calling softly in the direction of the door, "Hang on."

The blond sat on the edge of the bed and sighed again, as he could almost feel the red head relax on the other side of the wall. He approached the door slowly turning the knob with sweaty palms. He tiptoed out of his room barefoot onto the cement of outside, and turned to his immediate right, knocking lightly on another motel room door, before opening it just enough to lean against the frame, looking in at a rather frazzled looking red head.

Mello exhaled loudly,his expression softening but eyebrows furrowing in concern, "Are you okay? I could hear you tossing around from my room." He met Matt's green eyes ... Those soft eyes with so much knowledge in them. Not all of it was a good knowledge. No. Some of it was the knowledge you can only truly understand after you've lost your parents, and had no one but yourself (If you even knew who you were. _Really_ were.). It's difficult to know you are all you've got left, but not know who you are. Where you fit into this world. Why your life is even worth it. Matt's eyes, as well as Mello's were full with the kind of knowledge you wish you never knew. Some of it was street smarts. The kind that you hated, but needed to know to say alive. Because that's all life was. Keeping alive. Making it to the next day. The two boys had fought that very battle together for nearly thirteen years. And some of it was just the agonizing truth of life. That everyone is the worlds meat to pick at as it pleases. To pick off slowly, but surely. Until there's nothing left.

Matt nodded his head slowly, making a pained face in the process "I'm fine Mello just ... dreaming.", he wasn't lying. The red head laughed slightly, which caused him to make another pained expression. Mello didn't think he was meant to see it, but he had.. "Hey, Matt, do you need anything? Anything at all?" He flashed a small smile at the bruised up red head. The gamer looked up with darker red cheeks that had nothing to do with a fever. He knew Mello had heard him making pained noises in his sleep, it had been like that for the past two days. Only recently had the blond stopped _complaining_ about it.

Matt wasn't about to tell him that the walls were thin on both sides, and he had also heard Mello having a very explicit wet dream. He looked around, only meeting the blond's eyes for a moment, trying to think of what to say. "I'm just not sleeping well is all." he said it so softly, Mello couldn't help but frown slightly as he looked back at Matt. He approached the red head's side, and proceeded to give him a look. Matt groaned, and rolled over, understanding the look for what it meant.

Mello lifted the boys shirt, looking at his wounds.  
"They're mostly healed." came the blond's voice from behind Matt. The red head nodded. "I know. I'm out of medication though … I'm just, a little stiff."

Mello turned away, "Matt, it's twelve after four in the morning. You need to get some sleep." he back tracked, shutting the door to Matt's _suite _(An exact duplicate -minus the stains. No, those were unique in each room- to Mello's)_._ He kneeled beside the bed, face level with the red heads now. "I can just stay over here for the rest of the night."  
Matt knew that Mello was waiting to hear about another dangerous mission that could take the blond away from him for who knew how long. Sometimes Mello was gone a measly couple of hours. Sometimes he was gone for days. The red head shook his head with a sigh. "You should decline it."  
Mello raised his eyebrows at the red head, not missing a step. "Matt..." he paused, looking at Matt's injuries. Matt shook his head,"We could leave Tokyo. _Escape _Kira!"

Mello made a frustrated sound low in his throat. Him and the persistent red head had had this conversation many times. Mello couldn't pretend Matt didn't care about his work. He did in fact work very hard .. most of the time (When he knew it was important.)  
Mello sighed, and Matt just shook his head slightly with a small frown. Mello returned the frown, exiting the room without a word. Matt was sure he had upset his friend before the blond returned with a first aid kit. Matt shook his head, "I'm fine Mello." Mello nodded, rubbing his eyes and hiding a yawn. "Shut up, Mail."  
The gamer shook his head but did as he was told. Mello couldn't help but smile, Matt's bare back exposed for him to tend to. He looked up at the red head, who had his eyes closed, his face scrunched with the pain of moving around. Mello straddled the red heads behind, his legs on either side of the gamers hips. He leaned forward, a soaked cloth in his hand, he began to dab at the multicolored markings on Matt's back. He heard a quiet hiss come from below him, and frowned. Matt had been getting hurt an awful lot lately. Something had been off. Mello could only hide his worry for a certain amount of time, and his control was wearing thin.

As he bandaged the red head, he noticed the body below him had gone very still.  
He leaned forward, resting his cheek again the other males, listening to him groan softly in his sleep. Mello sighed a quiet laugh and lay on the bed beside his injured friend, and suddenly it didn't feel so lumpy, but rather like he was laying on a cloud. Mello opened his eyes to look at Matt, to find the red heads eyes still closed, but a small smile on his lips. The blond moved closer and draped an arm around the gamers waist with a small smile, "Goodnight Mail." he said almost in a whisper, and closed his eyes, enjoying not only the presence of a warm body beside him, but the fact that it was someone that he knew understood the pain in his own eyes.


	2. Singed Hair and Sweet Addictions

**Authors Note: So, some of you might hate me for the ending, but It just felt like it needed to end there. The third chapter will be up shortly, I'm overflowing with free time and fun ideas. Please enjoy, and review !**

P.s- I don't own any of this. ANY of it.

* * *

Matt's eyes opened and he quickly looked around the room already able to tell he was alone. He felt like he had run a mile, and his heart was racing. He was in his bed where he remembered falling asleep, pale and covered in sweat. He looked over his shoulder to find the bed empty, looking like it had been that way for a while now. He looked down at himself panting heavily and muttered a few profanities. He had let his head fall back onto the pillow beneath him, and that's when he noticed the note. Matt slid across the bed and snatched the paper from the dresser.

_Got a call. I'll be out of town for a while.  
Stay out of trouble.  
Feel better.  
-M._

Matt took his time getting up off the bed, holding his side carefully as he did so. He tiptoed to the door for no particular reason, and scurried over, into Mello's room. He roughly scanned the room, and the blonde had in fact taken his leather suite and motorcycle gloves. So he had gotten his work call and had to take off. Great. Matt sighed, leaving the blond's motel room and re-entering his own. He crawled across the bed and tossed the paper back onto the dresser, _Feel better_. Like that was possible, with the lives that the two men lived. Matt groaned, rolling over.

_I need a cigarette._

Matt couldn't help but to wonder where in the world they had sent Mello now. Other things passed through his mind as well. What the blonde could be doing, if he was alright, what alias he was using for this job, when he would be back, how safe Matt had felt last night with his best friend tending to him, and laying beside him. That's how being in the mafia worked. You lived in stingy motel rooms, where you were very careful as a general rule, and went by fake alias's, and got close to no one. But when you had nothing else, what could you do? Nothing. You could stick by the people you knew you could trust and that's exactly what Matt, and Mello had been doing all these years.

The red head took a minute to notice the fresh bandages on his injuries. Best spend the day in bed, and get better for his own next job. Matt ran his hands across his face with a groan, feeling over his tender ribs. Sometimes he wished him and Mello really could get away from Tokyo. Away from all the drug lords, and pimps slapping prostitutes around. Away from Kira.  
But it would never happen. Because Tokyo had the two boys captive. And it's been that way since the day they since they each lost their parents, and became meat for the world to chew up and spit back out, over and over again. Matt's stomach fluttered slightly as he thought about what could have happened if Mello hadn't shown up to save him on that last job.

Matt groaned, sitting up, he walked over to the door and casually peered out the peep-hole for a couple of seconds, before leaving the drapes closed, and going back over to the bed. These jobs would get you paranoid (or cautious, whichever way you looked at it, it fucked with your head). Matt craned his neck to look at a clock nailed to the wall, _Holy shit.. _No wonder Mello's spot was so cold, the red head had slept the entire day away, and the blonde had probably been gone for hours, before the gamer had finally noticed. Matt grabbed his bottle of medicine from the side table, shaking it a little, and finding it empty.

He turned over and grabbed his PSP, making sure he was nice and comfortable before sitting back. Sadly the gamer had no idea how long to expect Mello to be gone, but he knew he was helpless at the time, until either he got more pain killers, or the blonde returned. Matt secretly liked it when the blonde tended to his every whim. Though, as Matt had expected, he couldn't concentrate on his hand held game.  
The gamer ended up laying face down on the bed for what turned out to be days, mostly wide awake. Healing slowly, thinking things over, wondering where Mello could be that very moment in his life, until, he could last no longer.

In an effort to keep his sanity in the next two days Matt had gone grocery shopping three times, stocking up on chocolate for when the blonde returned from his secret mission, as well as ramen to live off of, sixteen packs of cigarettes, two new video games, and febreeze for the moldy room.

It was the evening of the second day after Mello had disappeared, and Matt still hadn't heard anything. Mello didn't leave Matt his phone number, so even if the gamer needed to call him, he couldn't. He had been eying the phone ever since he woke up, late afternoon. But it was almost two am before he picked it up, and sat back on the bed, biting his thumb nail out of habit, his eyebrows pulled together in thought. He sat there for a couple of long minutes, smoked a cigarette (okay, multiple cigarettes), and paced the room a couple of times before his fingers worked across the dial pad on the phone. Matt was silent for another couple of long minutes, staring at the screen with the numbers flashing in his face. He smoked another cigarette before he finally gave up and pressed the dial button, raising it slowly to his ear as it rang one and a half times, and someone answered.

_"Yeah."_

This, coming from a deep male voice on the other end of the telephone. He had a very deep voice, though he didn't sound very old. There was some sort of strong foreign accent present. Maybe Eastern.

"It's me..." Matt spoke quietly, quickly, eyes looking around him frantically for no reason in particular.  
You could practically hear the grin forming on the face of whoever was on the other end of the line as Matt continued to bite his thumb, getting up to pace in front of the vanity, holding the phone to his ear.

_"Ah, What do you need?"_

Matt was silent for a second, pausing in front of the vanity, looking himself in the mirror, before a calm look fell across his face, and he knew he had to go the full mile. "All of it."  
The voice at the other end of the phone chuckled, a deep, throaty laugh, and his response was only six words. Six words Matt had to hear far too often, than was good for him. Six words that had sealed Matt's fate all those months ago.

"_I will see you soon, then._"

Another agonizing hour later, and still no word from Mello, Matt had his favorite of all addictions in his sweaty little palms, and he still couldn't stop thinking about the blonde.

It was the third day after Mello's departure before the blonde showed his face again.  
Matt had been wide awake, sitting on the floor, staring at the ceiling, very content with the now, before he heard a loud bang on his door, accompanied by frantic yelling and a heavy vehicle burning rubber out of the parking lot. The red head sat up on his elbows very quickly, eyes narrowed towards the door, straining his ears to hear more. Matt wondered where Mello was in that moment. If he was safe.  
Matt had healed up nicely in the absence of his best friend and his ribs didn't even hurt after Matt had made that phone call.

He cautiously got up and made his way to the door. He looked through the peep-hole and saw nothing. He took a few long strides over to the nightstand beside the ratty bed and opened it, pulling out a handgun to stick in his waistband ... just in case.

He made his way over to the door, side-stepping with caution. (Being in the mafia really did make you paranoid)

The gamer opened the door just a fraction, before flinging the whole thing wide open with a gasp that sounded more like a hiss. Matt was on his knees in an instant, beside the bloody mess that could In no way be Mello. The blonde was curled in a heap on the ground, almost passed out. He groaned as Matt tentatively touched his face, twitching helplessly on the ground, and Matt didn't know what to do, "Mello!" The blonde mafia king was covered in blood, some dried, some not. His skin was black in some areas, and very pale in others.  
Matt looked away from the blonde, trying not to panic at all of the bleeding injuries. "Let's get you up ..." he murmured helplessly, though Mello was deaf with pain at that point. Matt's lip trembled slightly, as he looked up and around the parking lot once quickly, before lifting Mello as carefully as he could, and carried him inside.

He had this thing going on, like, a nervous twitch almost. Where he kept glancing over his shoulder into the kitchen every other second.

Matt laid Mello on the bed and locked the door behind the two of them, going to search for all the medical supplies as quickly as he could. He was light on his feet, scurrying around the small place trying to find the necessary supplies. Matt returned to the main room, and carefully crawled across the bed, spilling all of the medical equipment beside the blonde.  
Being in the mafia, it was never safe to call an ambulance like _normal people_, so the pair of them had spent a great deal of time learning first aid, and stealing expensive equipment from high end medical warehouses, and yet Matt was dumbfounded at how to make this better. Matt leaned over Mello's mouth and held his own breath, listening desperately.

Mello was taking very small, very quiet, shallow breaths. The gamers heart had nearly stopped trying to hear the faint breaths coming out of Mello's mouth, but he jumped into action none the less, tearing the shirt off of the golden haired mess, and beginning to wipe away dry blood, doing his best not to irritate the wounds at the same time preventing any more blood loss. He treating the worst of the wounds, shaking his head every now and then with uncertainty whenever Mello would go still, a shakey sigh coming from his mouth once and a while.  
Matt kept glancing towards the door, leaning an inch or two whichever way was needed to peer through the gaps in the curtains. (Matt muttered something about getting better curtains, _without_ gaps in them.)

Hours later the blond's eyes were firmly closed, his breath quiet, and finally even again as he slept. Matt had gotten no explanation as to what had happened, but had been expecting as much. The blonde had been semi-conscious for the majority of the time Matt had been tending to his wounds, and the whole time Matt could only think how much effort he must have been exerting to get past the pain and not black out. Mello was obviously very injured. He had serious burn marks (most likely third degree) the left side of his face was badly burnt. The marks went across his shoulder and halfway down his god damned back. Matt had even had to remove the blond's pants (and that had been a task in itself) when he had seen the burn marks dipped below the waistline of leather.

Dirty cotton swabs littered the room, and the ointment Matt had used made the room smell of burned clovers. He lay down beside Mello and took a few breaths, as steady as he could make them and closed his eyes for a second. He was too scared to sleep in case Mello's breathing got irregular again. He had never had to deal with injuries anything like this. The second Matt had finished, and made sure the blonde was still breathing he had gone on the wonderful world of internet and found as much information as possible.

Infection seemed like the worst possibility. Matt no longer had to worry about the blonde going into shock, since he had stopped the bleeding, and bandaged what was bandagable. Though he hadn't missed the fact that Mello looked unnaturally pale against the green sheets of the rotten bed.  
A hoarse voice cracked out the red heads name, as the bed shifted slightly, "Matty?"  
The red head sat up quickly, turning to face the blonde, his eyes softening right away as he frowned, "What is it Mels?"

"It...I-It hurts." is what Mello's reply was through gritted teeth.

"I know Mels, I know. I'm going to help you get better, okay?" He spoke softly, gently moving Mello's long blonde hair away from his face, trying not to let his lip tremble too badly as he felt the singed tips of the soft golden hair. He shook his head as Mello fell silent again, most likely back asleep from the pain. Matt stood up, heading over to the nightstand. He picked up his medication bottle and opened it, peering inside at the empty orange bottle. He growled and threw it across the room, running his hands roughly through his hair trying to think.

He lit up another cigarette, puffing on the cancer stick every other second.

He continued to pace the room, glancing from Mello on the bed, to the kitchen, to the floor. That odd, nervous looking twitch had returned. So many thoughts were running through the red heads mind.

_What would happen if I lost Mello? No, No. Thinking like that? Thoughts like that should never be thought. Don't even think._

Matt glanced over at Mello for about the billionth time, and the blonde was clearly passed out again. His resolve had gone now. This could wait no longer.  
Matt strode into the kitchen, peering behind him every step, where Mello lay on the bed, still as a button. He lifted the coffee machine and grabbed something taped underneath it. He paused this time when he glanced at Mello. Looking at him harder, and whatever he was thinking in that moment, it put a strange look in his eyes. He nodded at nothing in particular as he looked down at what he held in his hand.

It was a tiny little Ziploc bag, the color blue. And inside of the small blue bag, the whole bottom, from one corner to the other was covered with a white substance. It went up about a third of the bag, and as Matt shook his head, starting to sweat, he smacked the bag against the palm of his hand repetitively.  
"I can't believe .." he took a shakey breath, "This is all I have..." He stopped doing everything.  
Matt stood silently for a full three minutes, just looking at Mello before he went out to the main room where Mello lay, and looked down at his friends face. He moved the hair away from the blonds burnt face, and thought how innocent he looked. Matt took a deep breath, and entered the bathroom, flicked on the light switch, and turned to lock the door behind him.


	3. My Power Is Awesome, Try Me You'll See

Apricot lips parted, emitting a loud, very distinctly harsh hiss, as a shakey hand withdrew slowly away from a pale, sweaty arm. A long needle being draw out of a familiar spidery vein. Green eyes were closed, lights dancing behind thin eyelids, and a rather steady laugh came quite abruptly from the bathroom floor.

Matt felt the cool tile against his back as his body began to pulse with the drugs in his system. He dropped the needle, and heard the distant clink of it meeting the hard tile, echoing in his ears. His head rolled from side to side, and he smiled stupidly at those flashing lights behind his eyes, a very familiar feeling beginning to coarse through his body.

And all of a sudden, Matt jumped up to his feet, feeling light as a feather. His eyes were open in an instant (after that small head spin you get if you sit up too quickly after laying for a long period of time, or spin around in circles for minutes, and abruptly stop to try and look straight) and they were wide, dilated orbs, a small sliver of cloudy green barely betraying those fed, black demonic pupils.

Matt nodded his head slowly to nothing in particular, feeling as if he could fly to Never-Never Land if he so wished in that very moment. He was so very light. Nothing but dust in the wind.

He glanced down to the floor which had previously been occupied by his pulsing body, and saw two things. Both small objects, seemed to speak so loudly to him, and yet neither object could talk. The small blue Ziploc, hardly bigger than a dime bag sat there, empty, mocking him and his addictions. And that clear needle, a small amount of blood on the tip, the tiniest pool of the clear substance remaining in the tube, much in the same as that little bit of milk you can never get at the very bottom of the glass.

Matt heard a strange sound, and it was a moment before he realized, that it was himself he was hearing. And what he was hearing was a giddy, giggle, almost. His hand came up to slap over his mouth, muffling the noise, as it faded from his lips. His eyes trailed up from where they watched those two evil objects, laying on the filthy floor, just waiting, ready to rat him out. To sell him to the world to be torn apart.

_Nobody can find out_, he found himself thinking to the objects, as if they understood him.

He glanced up and saw a sick person looking back at him. His nearly black eyes went shifty, trying to avoid this persons judging gaze upon him. But Matt was only looking in the bathroom mirror. And he told himself it was the awful florescent lighting that made him look so sick.

In a blur Matt had picked up both of those dark little objects, his eyes wide as he held them close to his chest, and as quick as he had grabbed them he had pressed himself against the harsh coldness of the tile walls, and slowly turned the knob to the bathroom door. Matt held his breath in those long couple of seconds as the handle creaked twice, and clicked, indicating that it was fully turned.

Matt carefully removed his hand from the door knob as if to make a sudden move from it, and he would be done-for. He turned, to look himself over once more in that judging mirror of theirs. His black eyes had retreated slightly, giving hardly any room back to it's rightful jaded green, but it was good enough for the time.

He exited the bathroom, briskly walking across the entire motel _suite, _eyes flicking over to the body laying on the bed several times, as he swore to himself Mello was passed out from the pain. As Matt reached as far as he could without exiting the room, he did exactly that, and spun around to shut the door firmly behind him, but not loud enough to wake the blond.

The time of day came as a bit of a shock to the red head, squinting in the harsh light he hadn't been expecting. As he pressed his back against the closed door of Mello's motel, he glanced directly at the sun (and it burned), wondering for once what time it must be. What day of the week? He usually had some good sense of it without the need of a clock, or calender but it seemed in the past few days the harsh world had gotten the best of him.

He shook his head, waking himself from the daze of the glowing sun, and peered across the parking lot of the complex. He glanced at a dirty, rust covered dumpster.  
The parking lot was completely deserted. A couple of flies buzzed around the dumpster, and what looked like road kill near the entrance to the parking lot, but the street was quiet as a mouse. Matt leaned forward, double-checking himself before scurrying over to the nearest dumpster, which he chose to be the one farthest from their room.

He stood on tip-toe, ready to dispose of the gruesome evidence, before suddenly whipping around, pressing himself against the dumpster, and kneeling down. His eyes darted around him, scanning the perimeter for anyone who may betray him in the future.

Apart from some shady looking Sea-gulls, the area was still clear and Matt stood, quickly dusting himself off before standing on tip-toe once again and eloquently tossing his partners in crime away, where they would never taunt him again.

_Nobody can find out._

The red head clapped his hands together in a brushing motion, wiping away the filth that seemed to linger all around him. He shook his head quickly, and as inconspicuously as he could, Matt made his way back to his private quarters.

(He tried his best not to run)

Matt carefully slipped back into Mello's room, after a nervous glance around the parking lot, closing the door in front of him very carefully, not wanting to wake the blond. The sheets on the bed ruffled slightly, behind Matt, and a pained groan reached his ears, making him jump, and hold his breath. Matt felt sweat quickly cover his body as he held still, frozen in fear.  
The read head slowly turned, trying to stop his hands from shaking only to gaze upon Mello's sleeping form.

Matt let out his breath and quickly crossed the room (now that the ice was broken), making sure that every window, and curtain was closed in the motel. Matt slumped against the wall in the hallway after he had finished his sketchy perimeter check resulting in nothing new other than a neighborly lady (presumably insane) out walking her imaginary ferret, muttering quietly to herself.

The gamer glanced at his hands against the wall, and saw them shaking. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, thinking mainly about how he was so uneasy being high with Mello here ... like this. The thought of it all made him want a hoot, something to erase the aching he knew would soon return to him.

He froze again, noticing the retreat in his previous jitters as he heard a sound coming from the main room. All of his senses buzzed with the amazing high, and made him think_ 'intruder !' _but in that instant he knew for a fact Mello's safety had reminded him to lock the front door, and he had just checked all of the windows.

Although

There were plenty of ways to get past a door. That Mello and Matt both knew very well. Explosives, tools, street smarts, picking kits, sheer natural smarts. You name it. The noise Matt heard wasn't anything like that though. Either way, the red heads gloved hand slid across his waist to rest upon the small handgun in the waistband of his faded jeans as he slouched even farther down the wall, crouching almost ready for whatever be waiting across the corner.

His eyes were wide, and quick to efficiently scan all the blind spots in the room first, gun at attention, held with two steady hands, following his shifty eyes all over the room. The only object his gun fell on was a crumpled up, sobbing body. Matt's eyes softened instantly, as he tucked the gun back into his pants, and rushed over to Mello.

"Mello, Mello? What's wrong?"

Matt gently put his arms around the weeping companion, knowing that it was a stupid question if he ever heard one.

"Mello, it's alright, I'm here." Matt also knew however, that this wasn't much assurance for the mafia boss, and found it very unlike the bastard not to say so. Matt would rather listen to the hard asses rude comments at this point than his pained sobs.

Instead, he just continued to quietly weep against the hacker. Matt slowly pulled away, to look at Mello, and was instead looking at Mello close his eyes very tightly, with a rather hurt face. Matt smoothed the blonds hair gently away from damp cheeks.

The burns on Mello's face were surely making it very painful for him to close his eyes that tightly, pulling on the facial muscles and tissue. Matt stopped touching Mello's hair when he heard his friend mumble. Matt bit his lip, and leaned in. Mello's cool breath tickled Matt's ear, giving him shivers, and Mello's words brought that aching feeling crashing back to Matt, as he closed his eyes and cursed under his breath.

"It hurts..."  
Mello mumbled, a little louder this time. Matt was nodding still, continuously in fact, from hearing the same statement previous.

"I know, Mels." Was Matt's hurried, shakey response. He was tearing up the motel in an instant, looking for anything at all to help ease the pain for Mello. Matt was feeling suddenly selfish for devouring his own pain pills days prior. His fingers ran through matted, greasy hair and he could already feel the itching need for another fix falling upon him.

"Fuck!"

Matt screamed at the top of his lungs, kicking the innocent old bathroom door with all of his rage, and confusion, and fear, and guilt, and the _impeccable need_ eating at him! A large splinter appeared down the center where Matt's boot had previously been acquainted with, like a poorly done magic trick.  
Mello stirred on the bed, catching Matt's attention once more. The red head leaped onto the bed, immediately forgetting his earlier rage. He crawled to the blond to bend over him, until he felt that cool breeze indicating Mello's sullen voice, giving him goose flesh once more.

"Matty..."

Matt sighed, brushing the blond hair away from his face once more. "I'm here." He said it quietly, carefully. As if he were talking to someone on their death bed. A soft, reassuring voice. Though Matt wasn't sure who he was reassuring his presence to more. Mello, or himself. Sometimes the drugs could make you doubt yourself.

"It hurts, Matt. It hurts." Matt felt his heart breaking, as that aching feeling spread though his chest, making him cold to his very core, stealing his breath.

If he lost Mello, he was certain he would soon after be following his companion.

Because to truly lose Mello would be to truly lose himself.

The gamer shook his head quickly, he had never seen Mello fall apart like this. He had never even seen the bad ass shed a tear. In all the years they had known each other. Matt knew that the blonds wounds had to be agonizing, but he wouldn't believe he was losing Mello. He heard Mello mumble those words over and over, and in a sick way it comforted Matt. It didn't ease the feeling of coldness he was experiencing, or erase the fear that had struck him, but it reassured him that Mello was hanging on very hard.

He leaned in, ready to take action before Mello had spoken again. "I know Mello, I know." He sighed, his mind racing with fear (and the adrenaline of the drugs) "Make it stop." Were the next words choked out by Mello. His voice was raspy, and weak wasn't a strong enough word. Matt quietly cursed a few more times. "I'm trying Mello." Matt reassured the blond, whispering his words softly into Mello's ear. Matt noticed the mafia boss had stopped his sobbing, to attempt and lay very still, and listen to the gamer. Matt continued to whisper in Mello's ear, gently as he made his decision ;

"I have to leave you for a little while Mello, alright?"- Matt was cut of by Mello making protesting noises low in his throat, and he sounded like he might start sobbing again as he clung to the red heads striped shirt, shaking his head saying those same two works over and over.  
"I know, but that's why I have to go out. I'm going to get something to make you feel better." Matt's voice was extremely gentle, as he brushed his fingers through golden hair. The tips of Mello's hair were badly singed.  
Matt leaned forward as Mello's lips began to move again, and he caught a distinctive mumble that chased away some of the ice in his chest.

_"Chocolate..."_

Matt carefully maneuvered off the bed, trying his best not to disturb Mello's bandages, watching Mello the whole time. He felt like this was so much more than leaving the mafia lord in the motel room alone for a few hours. He tried to assure himself he was paranoid from the drugs. (Kinda ironic.)

Matt scratched at his arm irritated at the thought.  
_**Drugs. Drugs. Drugs.**_  
_Oh now that you mention it_.

Matt knelt by the bed, and saw Mello was still making that pained face. He was grasping the sheets tightly, and his toes were curled to top of his tense body. Matt sighed, "I'll be back Mello. I'll run you a cold shower when I get back … If I can." Matt wasn't entirely sure if he could do that, but it seemed to make Mello relax, even if it was only a little. As far as Matt knew the wost of their concerns should be infection. No problem there. The runaways had plenty of supplied they had stolen for cleaning wounds.

The red head hadn't had the time to properly read the information on the internet, but he had cleaned Mello's wounds very thoroughly and the thought had even crossed his mind that his choice use of the very effective cleaning product –alcohol, could have added to the pain his friend was currently endearing.

Matt frowned at this, but knew if a careless thing such an infection could attempt, and stand a chance, at snuffing out the great Mello the had done the right thing. Matt glanced towards Mello, noticing the growing silence as his thoughts nagged at him. The blonds eyes were still closed, but his face wasn't bunched in that sour face of agony. It was peaceful with sleep, as his back slowly rose and fell, hands still holding onto the sheets of the bed as Matt stepped outside, scanning the shaded parking lot and locking Mello away to safety.

The red head walked over to a dark area, sparking a Marlboro between his dried lips.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Matt sighed softly, pinching the bridge of his nose and repeating the process. He smoked the entire cigarette, not really taking his time before pulling out his cell phone, and another cancer stick with it.  
He pressed a single button on the cellular and held it up to his ear, dragging on the cigarette. Someone picked up on the other end after one and a half rings.

"Yeah?"

It was a male voice. He had an accent.

Matt held his breath, shuffling his feet. He looked down at his shaking hand, holding another of his addictions loosely at his side. Matt shook his head, and smiled a bit, taking another haul from the cigarette, and inhaling slowly.

"It's me."

Laughter erupted on the other end of the phone, echoing in Matt's head.

* * *

_**Authors Note:**_ **So, here's another chapter ! I hope you liked it. What's Matt up to? And how hurt is Mello really? D:  
And who's mister accent ? :O**

Review, review, another chapter is brewing ! Ja ne~


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